I’ve been bragging about my chickens for over a year to pretty well anyone who will listen. It has definitely become my favorite obsession! The talk always turns to egg production and I start spelling off about how great these 3 sex-link hens are at pumping out eggs almost every day. Well…low and behold, …..doesn’t Honda, our starting pitcher, stop laying eggs!
At first, I thought it was a temporary slump. Every Major League pitcher gets in a rut from time to time and maybe Honda just needed a bit of a rest from producing those large brown eggs each day. But,…..as the days turned into weeks, my concern continued to grow and the number of eggs in the egg carton continued to dwindle. In a momentary lapse of judgment, I even consider rationing my 83-year-old neighbor from the 3 farm fresh City Boy eggs that she receives each week. Okay…listen……..before you start sending those off-color comments, I’ll have you know that I dismissed this panicked thought and Philomena continued to get her eggs. Let’s just file that one under “concerned ‘father’ not thinking too clear”.
Anyways, as the days turned into weeks and my anxiety continued to grow, it was finally determined that Honda was in the process of molting. Well…..7 long weeks later I am happy to report that my starting pitcher is back in business! This morning I went out to the coop and there, nestled in some wood shavings, was THE BIGGEST FREAKIN’ EGG I HAVE EVER SEEN at City Boy Hens! This egg is ginormous! It weighs in at just under a quarter of a pound and is over 3 1/2 inches long. Though I am not a Mother and I did not give birth to our two children, I feel I may have enough common sense rattling around in my head to know that this must have hurt like hell!
“Ok Honda……..listen…….you don’t need to be making up for lost time. I understand you feel that you may have let City Boy Hens down in the last 7 weeks, but rest assured, you couldn’t have helped it! You ARE suppose to molt and take some time off in the process. Don’t you be worrying that Philomena never got her 3 fresh eggs each week. Rosie and Swiffer had you covered. But, more importantly, don’t you be worrying that Swiffer is trying to move up in the rotation and dreaming of becoming the starting pitcher at City Boy Hens. Sure, she hasn’t missed a day of laying in the last 5 weeks, but between you and me, she doesn’t have what it takes. Besides,……look at the way that crazy hen is always acting…….laying those eggs in the garden, sometimes doing the “egg-song” at 5:30 am……..she’s crazy I tell you! But more importantly, take a look at those Ping-Pong size eggs that she offers up to City Boy most days. They’re nothing compared to those beauties that you’ve made before. Now,………. go hit the showers and take a nice long rest in a relaxing dust bath. You’ve deserved it!
Oh….and Honda…….welcome back to the Majors…………. It tastes GREAT to have you back!