Bigger Is Not Always Better: Some Advice From The Manager

Rosie's first day at City Boy Hens

Rosie’s first day at City Boy Hens

OK Rosie…. We need to talk!

There is no need to impress me further.  I am aware that you were a late addition to City Boy Hens and that you received extensive bullying from Swiffer during the first month when you were forced into the flock last November, but…. you gotta stop laying those EXTRA LARGE EGGS!    It’s getting to the point where I can’t even close the egg carton because those eggs are sooooooooooo big.  Not to mention the fact that I can’t even fit a dozen eggs in the carton because your eggs take up most of the space where Honda’s or Swiffer’s eggs are suppose to go.012

Listen…….I know you are a champ and I’m very proud of your daily accomplishment, but it’s got to the point where I have to find a separate area in the fridge just to house YOUR EGGS!  This is becoming a pain in the butt, especially on grocery day when fridge space is at a premium.

Secondly,  I’m getting tired of having to explain to the neighbors why your eggs are so much bigger.  I’m sure you are reveling in your daily accomplishments, but you should remember how it was going for you last November when Swiffer was pecking the crap out of you.  As I’ve told you before, that hen is not playing with a full deck, she lays the smallest egg, and you might want to stop rocking the boat!

Don’t get me wrong……..I’m proud of the fact that you have never taken a day off since last November.  I’d also be lying if I said that I am not impressed when I come out in the morning to collect your egg.  I know you hear my “Wows” & “Holy S**Ts” when I get your egg, but this favoritism has to stop.  From now on, I’m not going to view your accomplishments with any more interest than I do for the other hens.015

I also hope that you are not doing this in order to impress Honda with the hope that you’ll move into the #2 hen position.  You know that you are number 3 in the batting order and that’s never gonna change.  You also need to come to terms with the fact that Swiffer is always going to be psycho, no matter how much help she gets.  Don’t keep tickin’ her off!  It’s bad enough that you are not TOTALLY accepted by the tribe.  You’re only gonna’ make it harder on yourself.

Up on the deck.

Banished to the back!

So…. maybe drop the egg size down to a large, give yourself a little rest and try flying under the radar for a while.

Maybe then there won’t be so much jealousy in the hen-house.

Yours truly,

The Manager

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6 thoughts on “Bigger Is Not Always Better: Some Advice From The Manager

  1. Hi Rick,

    How have you been? It has been a while since my last greetings. Thinking of your biscottiis, chicken pasta and sassages, I think you should open a restaurant here in Seoul 🙂 They were the best ones that I had ever eaten!!! Thank you again for your kindness that you showed to us while we were visiting there!! God bless you!!

    Still Waters 🙂

  2. hahaha…our chickens eggs look just like this too. I actually weigh the big ones as a ‘large’ grocery store egg weighs about 74 grams and often our eggs are double that. It’s amazing.

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